Bam-wham. Is it just me or is the Universe working at a really accelerated rate to get us to where we want to be – and where It wants us to be – right now?
These last few weeks through the end of 2016 and the first few days of 2017 have felt like an energetic ball of fire blowing through me. Swirling up dozens of my patterns, bringing them up for release.
Among the multitude of things that have come up for me are an old, old pattern from childhood – an incident I knew was of significance but had no idea quite how much – that had me putting constant checks on how I allowed myself to be in my interactions with others.
Glad to get to the root of that one.
Now to integrate the awareness that it’s Safe to be me, whether other people like and accept Authentic Me or not.
There’s also been a lot coming up around control.
My tendency towards obedience to rules without questioning. My irrational fear of authority figures. My ingrained pattern of submitting and yielding my power to both those in societal positions of power; and those who I feel are somehow superior to me – whether that be in strength, age, wisdom, knowledge or experience.
My co-dependent tendencies that have allowed me to be manipulated and controlled by others in relationship.
The same tendencies that have had me also trying to manipulate and control others – particularly their opinions of me.
Always striving to be the kind, compassionate, loving friend, colleague or partner who overlooks and forgives. Justifying and rationalizing behavior that dishonors me or the relationship out of a long-nursed fear of losing the other person’s love if I allow the Kali-infused incensed part of my personality that wants to honor my Truth to raise its voice.
Swallowing my pain instead of asking for what I need.
My new commitment to myself is to voice my needs and what I desire to experience, even when I’m scared of the possible consequences.
I am trusting that what is meant for me will stay; the rest be blown away in the wind.
More “stuff” coming up around the way I give my authority and power away to others by taking on too much advice and too many opinions instead of allowing myself to be the only and sovereign power in my life.
Choosing to deepen into trusting my intuitive knowing about the path my Soul is leading me on instead.
Clearing and releasing around the ways I have dishonored others and allowed them to dishonor me.
Committing to step up into a more authentic relationship with my Voice in relationships with others.
Accepting that it’s okay for others to be upset with me sometimes. That I’m probably not being true to myself if they’re not.
Letting go of my need to “control” and take responsibility for things that are not mine.
Setting myself free of all that extraneous, unnecessary drama.
Starting to let people be who they are without trying to change or “save” them.
Letting the world be what it is without resistance.
Being okay with “what is” however that presents. Knowing some things are beyond my control and others – yes, you got it – nothing to do with me.
Releasing the feeling that I need to make things better for people; “rescue” them from their pain; or take their problem away.
Knowing it is only when we face our pain and come through it that we reap the seeds of true joy and authenticity; that I dishonor others when I take their experience away.
So much forgiveness coming up, too.
Forgiveness for myself.
Forgiveness for former partners.
Forgiveness up and down my ancestral lines.
Forgiveness also asked for the whole of humanity and the way we have dishonored the Earth, ourselves, each other.
Issues around abundance rising to the surface; an opening up to receive more of mine.
Releasing my distrust and dislike of the feminine.
The part of me that perceives it as weak, submissive, unvoiced, powerless.
The part of me that perceives it as wild, sensual, passionate, untamed: is scared of embracing that power.
Awakening to the knowing that I desire to embody the Divine in a more feminine way. To not only deepen into meditation and spiritual practices; but to also embrace the vital, alive, playful and sensuous being that is the feminine embodiment of all that I Am.
Opening up; allowing myself to be expressed as a fully-embodied sensual woman. Exploring what that means for me.
Allowing myself to reclaim all the places where I’ve held myself back for fear of being “too much.”
Giving myself permission to be a strong and powerful woman; not just a soft and gentle one.
Embracing – whispering words of comfort and strength to – my resistance, my fear around being vulnerable; my resistance and fear around being seen; being fully me; relinquishing my habit of making myself “smaller” and “less than” so I fit in better with what society wants and/or expects of me.
Allowing myself to step into and own my magnificence; the light and radiance that I Am.
Many of these are things that I’ve worked on before: now I’m revisiting them on a deeper level.
They’ve been released and cleared – to the extent that is possible for me at this time – with help from my guides and angels; the Archangels and Masters. Also an exceptionally well-timed T.I.M.E. Heal session with Lisa Jo Davis, ZPoint session with Reba Linker, and Soul sessions with Michaela Jane of Step Into Your True Power And Shine and Total Goddess Immersion.
I know these patterns are not necessarily 100% cleared. I know we’re always a work in progress – that there’s always more love and expansiveness we can grow into.
I don’t need to be told that I now need to translate these a-ha moments and the stuff I’ve cleared around them into real and discernible change in my life.
But I also know that a significant amount of transformation and the transmuting of these energies has already taken place. It’s felt huge, powerful, expansive and life-changing.
With the unexpected sighting of Venus on January second – I felt drawn to go outside for a walk shortly before dusk and when I looked at the sky I had no idea what to think. It was like there was a very bright and unusually placed star close to, and in perfect alignment with, the moon. I felt a powerful surge of energy fill me as I gazed on these two orbs of light in the night sky; seemingly so close, yet so far away.
On returning home and finding out it was Venus, I did a bit of Internet sleuthing.
“Venus is a very advanced spiritual place, with highly developed arts and a fantastic system of spiritual healing and cosmic schools,” I read.*
Yes, I am totally ready to receive and welcome some more of that energy into my cells and life.
It felt like yet another confirmation of the miraculous and game-changing time we are living in.
I am so thankful to the guides, angels and Masters who have helped – and are helping – me to clear so much with ease and grace; who nudged me to go outside at just the right time to experience the Cosmos align in this way.
It feels like we are being called to open up to and expand into so much more of our power and Truth.
I feel the Universe there guiding and supporting us every step of the way; sending guides and angels and the perfect healing modalities to intercede for us as we do.
Yes, the Universe really does have my/(our) back(s).
I know my strength and my power do not lie in my Ego; but in my Soul, the Oversoul and my connection to Divine Source.
In trusting in, surrendering to, that connection.
May I continue to allow myself to expand into more of my authentic power; an ever-more intimate relationship with Source.
May we all continue to expand into more of our authentic power and an ever-more intimate relationship with our Source.
I am sending out love and golden rays of light, peace and joy to be with you at the start of this New Year my friends.
Full steam ahead into 2017, and whatever it may bring.
*Quote taken from https://wherethelightcomes.com/questions-and-answers/